My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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