i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
