sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
kristin has been a bad kristin
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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