How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
