where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
