You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
