I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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