I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
