I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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