5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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