meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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