Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
