my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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