I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
