how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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