very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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