belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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