So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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