is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
