Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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