The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
