I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
