He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
