so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
