Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
