in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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