I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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