i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
