how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
