Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
