just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
