I'm gonna have a badass scar
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
