Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
