last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
