who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
