I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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