He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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