I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
