Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
