My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
