you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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