i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
