this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
