Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
