My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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