Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
