I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
