Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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