So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
