New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
