well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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