Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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